Attachment Runway - What is WISDOM and Where do we find it?

What Is Wisdom — and Where Do We Find It?

One of the biggest struggles I see in mothers is frustration with themselves — especially when parenting doesn’t go as planned.

They reach out looking for certainty, asking:

“Am I doing this the right way?”

Here’s the truth: there is no single right way to parent.

There’s only the way that works — for you and your child.

Knowledge vs Wisdom

Knowledge is easy to find.

You can read books, take courses, listen to podcasts. You can learn the “rules.”

Wisdom is something different.

It’s what happens when experience, time and reflection combine to create understanding.

When you become a parent, your level of parenting wisdom equals the age of your oldest child. Every new child is a new relationship, a new system to learn, and a new opportunity to grow.

When “Doing It Right” Becomes the Problem

I once supported a mum who was deeply committed to connected parenting and co-sleeping.

It had worked beautifully — until it didn’t.

Her child no longer settled, she was exhausted, and the joy had gone.

But instead of adjusting, she pushed harder to “follow the rules.”

She didn’t realise that her growing discomfort was being felt by her child — who was responding to her stress, not her intention.

That’s the trap of rigid parenting philosophies: when they stop working, we often blame ourselves instead of adapting.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to be flexible — to read the moment and respond with presence, not pressure.

Wisdom Takes Time

I remember when my husband, a young Sub-Lieutenant in the Navy, first led his own section.

He wanted to perform perfectly, comparing himself to senior officers who had years of experience.

But wisdom can’t be rushed.

It takes time — and lived experience — to understand nuance and perspective.

After nearly forty years and four very different children, I can tell you that the only shortcut to wisdom is what Tony Robbins calls standing on the shoulders of giants.

In other words: learn from those who’ve walked the path before you.

Let’s Stop Beating Ourselves Up

We don’t need to have all the answers.

Parenting isn’t an exam — it’s an apprenticeship.

Each child, each season, offers new lessons.

When we stop comparing ourselves to experts or other parents and instead lean into curiosity, we open the door to growth.

Sure, we can gather knowledge from books or courses, but implementation — how it plays out with your child — is where the real learning happens.

And sometimes, it helps to have a mentor beside you who’s made mistakes, tried the theories, and knows what actually works in real families.

From Knowledge to Wisdom

When we pause to reflect, stay open to learning, and apply what we know with compassion, knowledge becomes wisdom.

Wisdom listens.

Wisdom observes before reacting.

Wisdom understands that there’s no one-size-fits-all.

If You’re Ready to Build Your Family’s Wisdom

That’s what my upcoming Transforming Attachment Webinar is about — helping you understand the emotional layers of connection so you can raise confident, resilient children without losing yourself in the process.

Join the Waitlist Here

Together we ARE Stronger.

Leanne G. Wakeling

Parenting Mentor | Motherhood Maven | Family Emotional Fitness Specialist