Parent with Purpose, being conscious about our choices, meaning understanding what our child needs

so that they get to be emotionally intelligent and resilient adults.


Why is this important?

Parenting in the 21st century has changed, even more than just the passing of time.  

We are raising children into a world that is substantially different, with new levels of awareness around mental health, new knowledge on how we form our identities and new understanding of what children need to succeed as adults. 

Appreciating that we are raising kids in a new environment is important because the big challenge for some of us as adults is to accept that how we were raised is no longer the most effective blueprint to operate from.

It’s not that our parents did the wrong thing.  It’s that their way was for then and we must evolve with purpose and intention to meet the new needs. 

We’re either green and growing or ripe and rotting.  When we resist the discomfort that may come with change, we risk becoming obsolete. 

Consider Kodak, the film company.  It had existed for around 150 years when digital photography and equipment entered the market.  They kept doing what they’d always done, because they’d been around for 150 years, and couldn’t see how they would be phased out of the market.  They failed to adapt and so became irrelevant.

This is where we who may prefer the “old way” can get caught out.  Because even if our way has been around and was ok for us, our children are not being raised in a world where the old ways are accepted.

Masculine v Feminine 

With no judgement intended, the past was quite masculine. Masculine being an energetic descriptor in how an individual approaches activities and people.The masculine is about the task at hand focused on the results and outcomes.  The masculine likes to back themselves and their knowledge for achieving success.  This can be amongst the reasons that some men and even women who prefer what is familiar get uncomfortable with the idea of doing things differently.  Whereas we’re moving into a time where relationships and connection is even more important.  These are the hallmarks of the feminine side of our being.  Where life is more about community and collaboration and doing life together.  

Predictor of Success

HBR has published that the best predictor of success has become emotional intelligence, the “soft skills”, whereas the past was more hard skills focused on professional expertise and academic or knowledge intelligence.

Leading the Way

It is up to us as parents and primary carers to lead the way, demonstrating the new way of being.  Children have always learned more from how we act than what we say.  To use this reality to our advantage means being willing to let go of how things were, so that we have room to embrace what we need to in order to be who our children need.

We need to acknowledge that some of us (maybe you, maybe your partner) will feel really challenged, because change doesn’t come to us quite so easily.  That doesn’t mean that we can’t change, it’s that its not as comfortable and will take more effort to develop the expertise for being the new way.

The great thing about parenting with purpose is we get to build a healthy relationship with ourselves.  This enables us to build mastery that aligns with who we are meant to be.  As we learn to become who our child needs to fill their purpose, we get to do the same.

In the process we improve our own success potential in the 21st century, meaning wins all the way round.

As we navigate through this huge change in parenting, don’t go it alone.  

Join with other parents

learning how to be a different kind of parent in the

Conscious Wholehearted Parents Facebook Community.

Author – Leanne G Wakeling – Relationship and Communication Coach, Parenting Mentor,

Behaviour and Thinking Styles Profiler.