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Mum life can be a drag on our energy.  School holidays there are certainly more distractions.

Chances are if you are also in business any time you pick to focus on a business activity, will be the exact same time that all hell breaks loose.  If you are an at home mum of any kind, if the kids are around, this situation probably resonates.

Sure, little kids require attention, and you expect that bigger kids could give you a break, and still it seems like anytime you want time for you, IS Not the right time.

It’s like there is a magic switch that is flicked when you want to focus on you.

  • When those moments happen, what is your response?
  • Are you resenting the interruption?  (common, you’re human).
  • Do you end up getting mad at them and telling them off, in the hopes of them “getting the message” “leave me alone”?

What if that is actually driving the kids’ actions, but not why you believe?

Everything only has the meaning that we give it. 

When we look at the kids’ behaviour as if they are purposely annoying you, chances are you will be annoyed.

However, when we appreciate that our kids are driven to have their needs meet (it’s a survival thing) AND they want to please us, why would they be purposely annoying us? Instead of seeing the interruptions as problems, consider them as opportunities.

What I mean by that is, if you’ve got a problem that every time you sit down the kids break down, then what could be going on?

If we keep doing the same thing and expect a different result is called insanity

– Albert Einstein.

When we start seeing the world from our child’s perspective, and leaning in, you might discover that the two of you have created a mismatch in expectations.

It’s appreciating that children up to the tween years (8+), have no logic or reasoning skills, and why their thinking doesn’t always make sense, from our perspective.

The only person in the relationship who can make conscious changes to their behaviour is the adult.  So, focus on the things WE can control.  Our response, our action, our choices.

Yes, kids need to learn, and there are years for things to be learned.  When we want them to be different, and resent them, we’ve made the problem about us. 

The problem we need to solve though is our child’s.

Getting information is the best way to solve any problem. 

The way we get information is to be curious.  To be curious and ensure our child FEELS safe (emotionally), we Validate their feelings first.  Empathise, after all they are their feelings, they are allowed to have them, and even if we don’t agree with them, they NEED to feel heard in order to stay out of “Lizard brain”.

Our child learns more from who we ARE being, than what we are saying

The more we treat them with focus and listen without judgement, justification or defensiveness. 

The more they learn to listen and follow our lead.

If you are in the trenches of parenting,

come join me in

the Conscious and Intentional Parenting Tribe on Facebook,

where you can access tools, strategies and support, to assist you in raising children to become emotionally intelligent to meet the needs of Adulting in the 21st century.

Author – Leanne G Wakeling – Relationship and Communication Coach, Parenting Mentor,

Behaviour and Thinking Styles Profiler.